community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
