This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
