I didn't shave. On purpose
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
