well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize