Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it glows. i had to have it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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