I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
