If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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