She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
