If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
