hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
