ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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