Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
