i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
organizing the empties. That sober.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
