he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
