but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
