dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
