the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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