Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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