Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize