Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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