come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize
