if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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