Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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