The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
