i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
