i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
