blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
