dude i'm inner monologue high
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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