are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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