I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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