Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
