I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
