Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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