If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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