I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
