No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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