Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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