Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
