i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
