he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
