My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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