Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
