I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's the barista slut.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
