He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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