What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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