The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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