my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
