Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
