I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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