Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
this boner is exhausting
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
