if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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