The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize