trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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