I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
