don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
