did you get engaged???
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
