i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
