I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
