Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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