he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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