The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
