Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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