Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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