I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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