Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize